Friday, March 18, 2016

Batman V Superman: Yawn of Justice


No SPOILER ALERTS here; zero. We all know what's coming.

Batman and Superman are going to meet. They'll disagree about something regarding might making right and pay lip service to the wanton destruction leveled upon Metropolis and the wider world by the previous film's climactic battle between General Zod and our titular boy in blue. They're going to suit up in their armor, as is required in every post-Homeric tale, and then have at each other, trading titanic blows back and forth before relenting just in time to see that they can stand on some common ground. Their bludgeoning will then be directed toward a monstrously CGI version of the villain Doomsday, a character that will require little investment from the audience and provide little to no narrative of his own beyond demonstrating a future need for a league that might one day promote and protect justice. Shoehorned in and around these details will be introductions of fan-favorite characters like Wonder Woman, Lex Luthor and Bat Family members such as Alfred Pennyworth, providing hints at a broader 'cinematic universe' yet to be explored. Even if the film does address the significant destruction that has become a staple to the genre in some meaningful way, cities will still burn and countless offscreen lives ended as the heroes and villains clash in and above the streets. There will be plenty of slow motion to highlight impossible feats of strength, and the lighting will be turned down to 'brooding'; it is, after all, a Zack Snyder film.

The spectacle will be spectacular, and the action will be exciting, but don't confuse dangerous situations for actual peril; whatever takes place, our heroes will unite and the end of the film and get ready to join up again for a series of sequels. The studio demands it be so.

I hope that I'm surprised by this film, that Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent show a compellingly human side in their god-like struggle or flip the script in their classic story to show something new. However, at this time, I find myself weary of the marketing and much more excited to see Marvel's take on super v super, where I have grown to care for those relationships, or even (and especially) for Warner Brother's offering later this year in Suicide Squad. That one, at least, looks very excitingly and unpredictably new.

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